“9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. 10 For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NASB
I don’t remember what caused the argument but there I was sitting in my car at the gym parking lot — fuming. Eyes transfixed on the steering wheel. I couldn’t think of a time I had ever been this angry in my entire life. My best friend was sitting in the passenger seat and we couldn’t even make eye contact.
On the inside of me there was a war — one that no relationship is exempt from.
One side of me wanted to never talk to him again and the other wanted so badly to reconcile our differences. We both knew that no one was leaving the car until we talked or someone died.
Finally Trey piped up and said, “We should pray.” I responded honestly with, “I don’t wanna pray.”
I had built a wall of pride in my heart that was keeping out my friend — but the unknown byproduct was that it was keeping out God.
Trey pressed harder, “Let’s pray.” So I squeaked out the best prayer that I could muster up, “God help me.” I meant the prayer but I was also sending out a clear message that I was not happy.
At that moment, Trey became the bigger person and continued with a prayer that was covered in love and humility — my walls began breaking down. I began seeing him again as my friend again. My thinking became clear as I realized how stupid our fight had been.
After he finished, I turned, grabbed his hand and prayed.
As it turns out, we had a great workout. And later we got back into the car laughing and listening to our favorite music — it was a good day. But as we were driving away, I kept thinking back on how mad I had been earlier, how small our disagreement was, and how great God was for aligning us again.
This incident forever changed the course of our friendship. We began praying for each other regularly and God allowed our friendship to mature to what it is today. We’re now brothers.
When times get tough, the problem I see with most people is that there is a lack of humility and reliance on God. Not only that but they believe that if a problem is to be solved that it should be solved with intellect.
Friends are a gift from God — that make us better. Therefore, friendships need to be built with God as the foundation.
One way to build this foundation is to share with each others the struggles of life and learn to pray together, even when you’re not mad.
James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”
This will take a friendship to a new level of trust, maturity, and most importantly — reliance on God. Once here, you will find that your relationships become so much more full and refreshing.
God built us for relationship. And our relationships will work when we do them God’s way.
As for me and Trey, his wedding is in less than two weeks and I proudly get to stand by him as his best man. This is the gift of friendship that God desires for everyone to have.
“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.” — Proverbs 17:17 NASB
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